Wednesday, March 19, 2025

Does an Unforced Error Make You Angry?

  

Does an Unforced Error Make You Angry?

An unforced error happens—a shot goes wide, a serve hits the net. Does it make you mad? No. The anger comes from inside, not the mistake. It’s all tied to low self-worth—feeling “not good enough”—and basing that worth on what others think. Here’s how it works.

Low Self-Worth

Low self-worth is the root. It’s that feeling of “I’m not good enough.” We base our worth on external things—like how others see us, if they respect us, or how much they care. When a shot fails, it feels like we fail too, because our worth depends on outside stuff. This drives everything else.

Perfectionism

Because we feel not good enough, we want every shot perfect. Perfect play means we’re worthy—of respect, love, or approval from others. When we miss, that worth crashes, and it hurts.

Need for Validation

We need people to say we’re good to feel okay. An unforced error feels like they won’t, and that stings. It’s because our worth leans on their words, not us.

Need to Win for Respect

We think winning proves we’re good enough. A mistake, especially a simple one, feels like losing respect—from others and ourselves. It hits hard because our worth ties to looking strong.

Fear of Looking Bad

We’re scared people will see us as bad players if we mess up easy shots. That fear grows because we think our worth depends on their view. A miss makes us feel small.

Why It Happens

Anger comes when things don’t go as we want. It’s fast, a subconscious reaction—not always a thought like “They won’t respect me.” I want perfect shots to prove I can do it, to feel good enough inside, and to show others I’m capable. Most players, especially without psychological training, believe deep down: “I’m only worthy of respect, love, or recognition when I play perfectly or at a high level.” We desire this for ourselves and others. When a shot fails, it blocks that, and anger hits—irritability, annoyance, dislike, frustration, tension, shame, rage, or outbursts. Then thoughts might come: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m foolish,” “I’m silly,” “I can’t do it,” or “I’m a failure.” It all ties back to low self-worth depending on others. That’s why building your own self-worth matters—it gets you out of this ego trap.


Monday, September 18, 2023

Live in the Now!





Live in the Now!
 Peaceful Warrior - excpert

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FULL MOVIE





Relaxed concentration


The tennis player begins to value the art of relaxed concentration above all other skills; he discovers a true basis for self-confidence; and he learns that the secret to winning any game lies in not trying too hard."

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The secret of good performance, of achieving the results we desire, is not to try too hard to obtain those results (Gallwey, 1974).

It is about achieving a spontaneous performance, the natural expression of your person, which only occurs when the mind is calm, focused: when it seems to form a unity with the body. Mind and body cooperate in solidarity. (Pablo Antonio I. Ramírez)

The mentally strongest player has overcome all the habits in his mind that prevented him from achieving excellence in sports performance. Such a player has entrenched in his person a series of habits and mental routines specifically designed to calm the mind and extract from it its maximum potential, facilitating the availability of its resources and capabilities. The secret to winning either of the two games or levels (external and internal) lies in not trying too hard, in not worrying excessively about achieving a specific result. (Gallwey, 1974).

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"Ask yourself: Is there joy, ease and lightness in what I am doing? If there isn't, then time is covering up the present moment, and life is perceived as a burden or a struggle." - Eckhart Tolle

Movie: The Peaceful warrior


 Movie: The Peaceful warrior

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Sunday, September 10, 2023

Grief and sorrow by Atman Nityananda

Grief and sorrow loosing a game

Ambition, attachment to results and high expectations as well  as the unconscious need (and desire) to be recognised in order to feel sufficient and worthy cause us unnecessary suffering! 

Get rid of them, relax and enjoy  the game. This is true success ❤️

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

The relationship between emotions and thoughts! Atman Nityananda


The relationship between emotions and thoughts

 Emotions and thoughts are interconnected and that they mutually influence each other. 

Let's break down and analyze this idea:

1. Emotions and Thoughts Interaction: Emotions and thoughts don't exist in isolation; they interact and shape each other. Emotions can influence the content and intensity of thoughts, and thoughts can shape the way emotions are experienced and expressed.

2. Mutual Reinforcement: There is a bidirectional relationship where emotions reinforce thoughts and vice versa. When you think about something, it can amplify the associated emotions. Similarly, strong emotions can influence the nature of your thoughts, potentially making them more focused on the emotional content.

3. Cognitive Appraisal: Emotions are triggered by some sensory stimulus (impressions) and also arise as a result of how we interpret situations cognitively. For example, if you perceive a situation as threatening, you might experience fear. This cognitive appraisal involves thought processes that can intensify the emotional experience.

4. Feedback Loop:
The interaction between emotions and thoughts can create a feedback loop. Positive thoughts can enhance positive emotions, and positive emotions can lead to more positive thoughts, creating an upward spiral. Conversely, negative thoughts can intensify negative emotions, and negative emotions can lead to more negative thoughts, creating a downward spiral.

5. Emotional Regulation: Thoughts can play a crucial role in regulating emotions. Cognitive strategies like reappraisal (reinterpreting situations) can help modulate emotional responses. This indicates that thoughts can influence how we experience and express emotions. 
Positive affirmations and inquiries help us also to handle and release emotional stress. 
Acceptance, non idnetification, minful observation and Self-awareness are also of the main means to address emotional stress and pacify them. 

6. Individual Differences: The strength of the interaction between emotions and thoughts might vary among individuals. Some people might be more prone to letting their emotions shape their thoughts, while others might have stronger cognitive control over their emotional responses or have evelopd a variety of abilities to address and release emotional stress..

In summary, emotions and thoughts influence each other in a continuous loop, impacting how we perceive and respond to the world around us. This interaction is a fundamental aspect of human psychology and plays a significant role in shaping our behaviors, decision-making, and overall well-being.

Becoming a Champion

Management of Emotions and Freedom